Cheesy movies on lazy Saturdays – well, at least I can laugh at them

Last Saturday I had almost nothing to do. In the morning I sweated it out at the gym and felt proud – I had done 2 days’ exercise. Later at home, I took a Mills and Boon book

(I didn’t buy the dumb thing. I’d got it free with some magazine) and sat down in front of the TV. Kalaignar was showing one of those early 80s movies.

The movie starred Sridevi and Rajnikant. It had the typical rich girl falls in love with poor boy story. Girl has a millionaire Dad with a pipe stuck in his mouth and an expressionless face. Her mommy is a ‘glammy’ (I was tempted to coin that word). The parents are straight out of Bollywood films of that era, and both of them are thinner than their daughter.

Sri marries Rajni, but later they break up due to ------------------------------ (you guessed it!). She goes back to her ‘porandha veedu’. A couple months later she is found to be pregnant. Her papa wants to have the child (actually a doll with the front side hidden in the first few scenes, as you may have expected) put in an orphanage and does it – by putting it in a cradle on the porch of the orphanage in the middle of the night. Rajni sees this and after the daddy leaves, looks into the cradle to find the child missing. While checking the vicinity for the child, he finds his wife’s ex-beau holding a weapon over the child’s head to kill it. Our man somersaults in the air with a sound effect and attacks the ex-beau, and then obviously gets the kid.

Rajni brings up the kid – in one shot, he’s a model father, with one hand brushing the sleeping kid’s hair off his face, and a bottle of liquor in the other (no prizes for guessing why he is drinking) while singing a Bollywoodish song. Drinking remains his favourite pastime even after the kid has grown and become a 6-ish looking schoolboy.

Meanwhile, Sri’s been lying in bed with a problem in her head all these years (I presume, as they showed her lying in bed ;-)) with a bomma paappa in her arms (expectedly!). Papa has given up on trying to getting his daughter out of the mental trauma. When she’s asleep, he pulls her doll out of her hands and throws it dramatically on the floor. Of course she wakes up and wails for her baby. Papa utters some dumb dialogue that ends with ‘I say!!’ (which Rajni who mostly speaks ‘thooya tamil’ in the film also says earlier. It must have obviously been a fashionable phrase then). After the dimwitted dialogue, Papa throws something against the bookshelf. A couple of books tumble out and a photo of a heart that Rajni and Sri carved on a tree in Ooty falls out. Sri grabs the photo. A doctor who visits later says that the picture has affected her a lot (which we all can see, u dumb ass doctor! Err… u dumb ass dialogue writer!). The doctor says they should take her to the place, which is in Ooty.

In Ooty millionaire father has a run-in with Sri’s son. The son later meets Sri near that tree (he has earlier heard the tree singing in her voice! – how ridiculous can things get?) and identifies her (Ha ha ha ha) but keeps things to himself (and doesn’t even let the viewer know, from what I saw.. ;-)). Sridevi gets attached to the boy and can’t bear to leave without him. She goes to his house and ------------------------- (you know).

So Rajni starts dialogue vuttufying in pure Tamil, not forgetting to add a sentence in impeccable English (gawd). But the dialogue actually serves its purpose and they unite.

Meanwhile, I was flicking through the Mills and Boon, revisiting my teenage infatuation episodes, while actually taking in the story of the dumb movie, laughing like crazy and passing comments in between. My, how the purpose of these movies have changed! Would the inept director and film crew have imagined this? Hehehehe. Mildly entertaining morning, but I am hoping for great Saturdays.


My life in painstaking detail. Because there are so many little things that’ll make you laugh or ponder, years after they happen.

An occasional side effect of my single status is what I call the ‘no-boyfriend’ syndrome. When it affects me, I whine (just noises) to the colleague next to me. This helps me get rid of my woes. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like they’ve been transferred to him. At other times I just listen to music, often ACDC which clouds my head with euphoria (don’t ask why) and helps me work better too (music accelerates creative output).

Today I was unexpectedly afflicted by the ‘no-boyfriend’ syndrome. It hadn’t anticipated its arrival in the near future, as I had just been on an awesome sightseeing trip to Kolkata, and was still in a happy mood.

I did a bit of whining, and then decided to tackle the syndrome differently. When she doesn’t have a guy, where does a girl turn to drown her temporary sorrow? Chocolate, of course (mild exaggeration)! (Women seem to get turned on by chocolate. Seriously!)
So, without giving a damn for my weight, I headed to the Carnival cake shop near office with a colleague. I picked a piece of cake that seemed to be dripping with chocolate, devoured it speedily and, guided by my taste buds, followed it with Pav Bhaji. Yum yum…

That was a perfect solution to my woes, and a great meal. I also consoled myself with the thought that if I find a boyfriend and face plenty of problems in the relationship, I might end up learning how wonderful singledom is, the hard way.


(2 january 1996, India)
A tiger killed one man and mauled another at the calcutta zoo yesterday when they tried to put a marigold garland around its neck in a new year's greeting.Prakesh tiwari, the dead man, and suresh rai had been drinking before they bought the floral garlands and crossed the moat around the tiger's enclosure, authorities said. "i was shocked to see the two young men weaving about in front of a tiger with garlands in their hands, " said rakesh banerjee, who witnessed the attack that triggered panic and a near stampede in the zoo.The men, both in their 20's, were trying to put the garland on a 13-year old male royal bengal tiger named "shiva" after the hindu god of destruction. when rai threw the garland around shiva's neck, the tiger attacked him. his friend tiwari intervened, kicking the tiger in the face. the tiger released rai, and attacked and killed tiwari."i saw it all; the tiger turned and jumped on the other young man and put its head on the man's neck, and within moments, the man was apparently dead, his head dangling," banerjee said.the two were reportedly devotees of the goddess durga and had gone to "worship" the tiger. immediately after the incident, an angry crowd went on a stone-pelting spree in which two children and a woman were injured

Day 6 – Last day: An Encounter with Royalty

Today the Royal Bengal Tiger did a special ‘catwalk’ for me. Yep I am exaggerating very much, but the graceful albeit thin (:-( - Obviously he didn’t feel at home. He was in a zoo, but of course) beauty prowled majestically and unselfconsciously (I act like he has a sixth sense, huh?) in his grassy enclosure and I took a photo that could seem straight out of a jungle.

I also visited the place where Mother Teresa lived and served here, looked at her childhood photos, and read her documented ‘conversations with God’ (no sarcasm).

Why on earth didn’t I travel alone all these days?

That’s what I thought when I discovered the pleasures of traveling alone. My parents are very protective of me, more so because I am an only child. My bhai, my Dad’s friend’s son was to spend about a month of his holidays with his parents in Kolkata and wanted me to come. After some dilly dallying, I made the decision to take a trip. My Dad was ready to send me, and I was happy. However, for my mom the decision was an enormous surprise. I guess she didn’t expect me to actually go. But she accepted the decision.

When I was about to leave for the airport, my dad actually rang up thrice, and called me a number of times during the trip as well. He would send me but was so concerned about me!

The trip is turning out to be a great experience. The planning was thoroughly enjoyable – right from the itinerary to purchase of gifts to spending, and I felt much more capable in planning a trip. I felt more responsible for my work, and for household chores at my Dad’s friend’s house. I was also making note of how much I spent, and bought meaningful gifts for others.

Even though I am staying with someone else, being pampered a bit, and well cared for, the sense of responsibility has never left me. I hope to travel alone often.
Day 5: Religion. And Ridiculous Rituals.

Today we went to Dakshineshwar – where Ramakrishna Paramahamsa worshipped Kali. Dakshineshwar is located on the banks of the Ganga. The downside of the visit was that we were only allowed a side view of Kali, from outside a window. Did we come all the way to the place only for that?

Anyway the upside was truly wonderful. There were 12 small mandirs housing Shivalingas. We went to 3, and I touched all the Lingas, like the people there did. Now, can one do that at all in temples in the South?

We proceeded to Belur Mutt, which is also located on the banks of the Ganga. Founded by Vivekananda in 1897, it also houses the headquarters of the Ramakrishna Mutt and Ramakrishna Mission. A very peaceful place, spread across acres of greenery.

Then we went to the Kalighat temple in Kolkata, which I decided never to visit again. For, the gruesome sight of goat intestines greeted me inside the complex. Goats were being ‘sacrificed’! Many of you can say that this cannibalistic ritual is followed in many places in India, but it’s still terrible. I must admit, I use leather and don’t know what goes into it. Curse me. But I can’t stand the sight of animals being killed. And to think that the Kalighat temple is the most popular one in Kolkata and thousands of people come everyday. Well, as I said, I’ll never go again. The reason why I am even talking about it is because it’s high time people discontinued the ritual.
5. 6. 08

I am not in the mood to write a blog. I just got up from a cushy leather armchair after grabbing forty undeserved winks in it. Now I am consumed by too much holiday laziness to write more… hehe... Italic

6. 6. 08

Finally I’m gonna write…

Day 1: A taste of ‘Dirty City’

Kolkata is rightly called the ‘Dirty City’ and ‘’The City of Joy’. I am staying in the ‘City of Joy’, where there’s plenty of towering trees, fresh air and very wide roads. Part of my first day was spent in the ‘Dirty City’, at a place called New Market. Noisy place with hawkers and shopkeepers giving strong competition for Pondy Bazaar wallahs. I had gone with the Aunty I am staying with. We went to a tailor shop on a lane stinking of mutton, beef and god knows what, located right near a huge mutton/beef/god knows what market. Am writing about this dirty smelly part so that when I really gotta let off steam sometime, I can crib about this. We also went to a couple of other shops that unfortunately were located at quite a distance from each other. To sum it up, New Market is a confusing place full of shops and crisscrossing walkways (on which we ended up having a good walk – a great substitute for a morning walk). But everything is an experience (am consoling myself, and trying to end on a cheerful note)!

In the evening we went to the church, spotted trams on the way, and clicked a nice pic of a tram.

Day 2: Yoo hoo

I went with Aunty and her son (my ‘bhai’) to the swanky, spacious South City mall, where we made small purchases and did a lot of window shopping (ah! The pleasure of it…). A really cool thing about the mall was the messages written on the doors of shops that hadn’t opened yet. Some examples are: ‘You guys will stare at anything’, ‘Patience, dude’ and ‘Sorry, we didn’t want to use funny messages like the other shops’. We had lunch and gelato at the mall (gelato was so yum. I should have had it before).

The evening was fun-filled too. After dropping Aunty at the church, bhai and me headed to a ‘shopping street’ with Westside and Vardhan Market (noise, gaudy clothes… you get the picture. But it was air-conditioned). First I got my bhai a nice tee shirt. Then we had some Kolkata chat (artful blend of spices and junk food for a more discerning palate, nothing like the messy but yummy Chennai ‘chat’ that I prefer). We then went to Vardhan market and did some roaming, following which we went to Westside and waited for Aunty to come. Bhai was checking out sunglasses after which we went around the ground floor. I was checking out clothes with no intention of buying anything (to curb my spending habit) and hopping from one rack to another on a far side of the room, right when a salesman turned up at the rack to help me. Then Aunty came and we headed to the first floor, where I bought a pretty pair of shoes (to add on to my growing collection – this was my fifth pair. Still my ma would object, because of my aforementioned spending habit). My bhai said I would have to face a ‘very strong woman’ at home. I spoke to that strong woman – obviously my ma, at night, and broke the news. She seemed ok with it. I guess she was expecting me to splurge on something on a trip. Now, if you think all this talk about spending was inconsequential, you don’t know what a big spender I used to be.

Day 3: Boo hoo

Kolkata’s gonna be the ‘Sleepy City’ today and tomorrow… now I don’t literally mean that, of course. These 2 days are bandh days. So I sat indoors, slept too much and read Cineblitz (which I’d hardly read before, and don’t consider a great read – its gossip and time pass cine news).