Pondy Bejaar

I don’t use words like “bejaar”. That is only for locals in lungis, Pondy Bazaar vendors and uniformed people with paunches who’re mamool crazy (you get what I mean). But there is no other word which fits perfectly in the title (:-D) and what happened to me on Vijayadasami day.

I parked my bike in an area which didn’t have a “no parking” sign. There were several vehicles parked nearby. I visited a Bossini store and tried on some clothes. I didn’t find anything tempting enough and walked out, proud that I hadn’t spent a penny. I reached the parking place to find it empty. A flower vendor who was sitting nearby told me that the police had taken away a bunch of bikes from there and said that the police station was at the end of the road.

I tried to be as calm as possible. But on the way I almost snapped at a woman who stepped on the back of my shoe. I put on a threatening expression as I walked without allowing space for people who came from the opposite side. I felt like I was going to faint from low BP. I slowed my pace and calmed my mind further.

You see, just 2 days before I was caught by a traffic police fella for jumping a red signal at the turning outside Citi Centre, because of carelessness caused by the sheer joy of buying a gorgeous silver top. Police Uncle was waiting there to ruin shoppers’ happiness. (Yes. I know I made a mistake. But a policeman waiting there was just too much. Do they wait at every signal? Do they wait at Tidel Park signal? Velachery signal where everyone happily turns while the red light is on? Noooo. They wait at Spencer, Citi Centre, Besant Nagar beach… where people just come to relax and have a good time.)

Police Uncle demanded 100 bucks from me for adding to his collection, so that he could shop at Citi Centre too. Luckily I had only 50 bucks in cash. I told him so and gave it to him. And while the red signal was still on, he asked me to go. Police Uncle is so strict about rules being obeyed.

I had never been fined by the traffic police earlier. And now I had to pay up for the police to celebrate Vijayadasami. Heck! I decided it was fate, as I walked into the Pondy Bejaar police station courtyard. A khaki clad inspector told me that the traffic police SI was right at the backside of the station. I walked there, saw him standing on the road platform behind and luckily my bike was parked right there. He asked me to pay Rs. 150. I told him that where I parked, there was no “no parking” sign. He said that parking spaces would have a “parking zone” sign. Huh? How am I supposed to know? I hardly go to Pondy Bejaar.

Anyway Police Uncles would’ve bought nice Vijayadasami treats for their families, while the petrol money I’d got from my Mom went poof. Later, I gave myself a special “cheering up” treat – a chocolate cone. I’ve discovered that ice cream gives any day a happy ending. At least I had a nice cone because of Police Uncle. And now I am writing a blog post after a long time, literally without taking my fingers off the keypad! Wonderful experience. But Police Uncle, I don't want to thank you. Anyway you had a great Vijayadasami because of my money, that's a substitute for a "thank you".

A Book to Remember

I really should’ve read the book before – A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. There was a time when my cousin used to read lots of Nicholas Sparks books and I never tried reading them then. And later I got bored of romance and mush. When I took the book from my library I thought I would probably get bored halfway.

It didn’t elicit yawns. Rather it brought out tears. I haven’t ever cried three times while reading a book. I don’t know if I am too sappy, but A Walk to Remember was really touching and beautiful.

It was about a rich boy falling in love with the local priest’s daughter – something he never dreamed he would do. She is most of the time plainly dressed with her hair in a bun and isn’t an attractive girl, but a beautiful person. Someone who prays for good things to happen to everyone, helps anyone in need, often spends time with kids at an orphanage, collecting money for charity and all such things. He always thinks of her as a good person. When the unexpected finally happens – when they fall in love – it brings out the beautiful side in him.

He spends time with her, reads the bible with her, visits orphans… while suddenly she reveals to him something shocking - she is dying of leukaemia.

He is devastated. And as she gets sicker and sicker, he starts praying for a miracle. Then one day, the voice of God seems to tell him something – that there is one thing he must do for her happiness – marry her.

She accepts his proposal. He then convinces his parents and her father. Their wedding is one she always dreamed of – in a church bursting with people.

Then there is a twist in the end. One that puts this book ahead of many books. One that is even more special than the rest of this book. The marriage is a miracle that saves her life. That is why God spoke to him.

Experience the book yourself. It is beautiful and unputdownable. Now I have borrowed my second Nicholas Sparks book – The Choice. Hope it matches up to A Walk to Remember.

Whine Flu

My ears are sore. People around me are whining and worrying non-stop. I cannot blame them for worrying, but many don’t even take some basic steps to prevent spread of diseases – which are stated in TOI in bullet points – cover your nose / mouth with a tissue or handkerchief when you sneeze or cough, try not to touch your mouth / nose /eyes often, wash your hands often.

They should do all this, maintain good personal hygiene and avoid eating out unnecessarily. Get tested – which I feel is not necessary for each person who panics and runs to testing centres, for waiting along with possible germ carriers gives them greater risk - and wear masks. That is the maximum they can do.

A whiner from my office polambified about swine flu and a few hours later wanted bonda from a roadside stall. And later picked his nose.

Sneeze and people suspect you might have swine flu. Why is it that times are so advanced but a flu scare can drive people insane? Is it because a threat to life can drain your mind of logic?

I probably sound like I care a damn for people’s fears, but no. I would like to remain optimistic while being careful and such an attitude can carry us through this.

It is high time people whine less, keep their worries to themselves and lower their risk while making sure they follow basic prevention steps.

My office is on Cenotaph Road. Right now my office building is surrounded by clouds of dust and heaps of mud and stones, with the flyover under construction, but one thought about what a great location it is puts a smile on my face.

Coffee Day is right next to my office. One of the best Coffee Day outlets I have ever seen. I don’t see people blocking my way and men at the next table don’t seem to talk loudly right in my ear. There is a lovely corner seat with a huge glass window next to it, offering a view of half a towering coconut tree (for the rest of the view you have to block the way of vehicles who get a small section of the road to come through – or you can sit top of on the half-constructed flyover :-P with a glass of coffee in your hand – the tree looks beautiful, more a refreshing sight against a patch of blue sky in the midst of buildings and heaps of rubble). The absence of traffic that is a blessing in spite of the presence of rubble and the cement pillars of the flyover. And the most divine chocolate cake (How could I not mention that?).

Loads of other benefits are offered by the location… If I want to shop in Pondy Bazaar during lunchtime, it takes me just 10 minutes to reach the place. TTK Road is 5 minutes away. Mandaveli and RA Puram 10 minutes away. Adyar is just around 20 minutes away – via Kotturpuram – a route which has traffic but doesn’t require you to face an endless battle like the one on the Adyar bridge. My house in Velachery is only 35 minutes away. Some people think my area is literally cut off from the main city – LOL. And I get to ride down OMR – another great place which offers a lovely ride in spite of the traffic. I even do 80 sometimes.

Another bonus – my friend’s house is just a walk down from office. That’s great. But I haven’t gone there after a workday. I should! (But we have met up at Coffee Day and had a nice time :-) )

All in all, I am really happy that my office is in this terrific location. I could gush on and on about it. But I guess I have said enough :-).

I have grown up with Archie Comics. I got my first two when I was in 1st or 2nd standard. From the American Bookstore in Mount Road. On the way back home from an eye test. I remember well :-). Then my father’s friend’s daughter borrowed one of them and never returned it to me. Grrrrr… (And of course I hate people who don’t bother to return stuff.)

Every Archie story brings a smile to my face. Why? Archie comics employ classic humour situations.

Archie is caught between 2 girls. Both have opposite personalities. Now it is sad that he’s going to get married :-(.

Archie has a way of almost always getting into trouble. When he is holding a can of paint you can predict what’ll happen next. But there is a clever, intelligent side to Archie.

Chemistry and Archie is an equation that spells danger with a capital D. Explosions always happen in the chemistry lab stories.

Jughead is a woman hater. And we have a girl who’ll never give up on him.

Archie is always late for school, and ends up in detention.

Veronica blows too much money and gets into trouble with Daddy.

Moose can break bones but lacks brains.

Dilton looks like a kid next to Moose but is all-brain.

I think there are more classic situations. After reading so many Archie Comics, I feel sad to think I could recollect only this.

To entertain you a little more…

An Archie story goes like this:
Archie is watering a plant with a hosepipe. Suddenly the water stops coming. Weatherbee passes by, and stops to find out why the water is not coming. It decides to flow out when he’s holding it front of his face.

Archie gets detention. While Weatherbee goes back and sees if the hose pipe actually has a problem… just as the water gushes out, the Superintendent of schools gets in the way. The story ends with Weatherbee joining Archie in the detention room.

Archie comics are a favourite around the world. But the old ones are better than the new ones. Eshwari lending library sells them at its main branch. You’ll find a lot of old Archies there.


I must mention my favourite characters….

Juggie – he is actually pretty desirable… purely because he hates women.
Veronica – I’d like to be as mean as her and have as much money. I don’t want to be a nice girl. Besides, she always gets the guys she wants.
Hot Dog – Smart dog!
Mr. Weatherbee

This article is yet to be completed….

Great Dessert Destinations 3

Mansukh’s

Located in a lane near Venkatnarayana Road, Mansukh’s is a Gujarati eatery and sweet shop. Their Basundhi is out of this world! Their Gulab Jamun is delicious too.

Eden

Located at Harrisons, Nungambakkam (and also at Besant Nagar).

Eden has an amazing dessert called Streaky Kahlua – choco-coffee ice cream that’ll make you go Wow… it tastes absolutely heavenly!
Some of the desserts have very interesting names… Sample this – The Last time I ever saw my Waist – a dessert with lots of chocolate.
The have something called Orangeboom, which combines chocolate and orange flavours… but I didn’t get to try it. The dessert is seasonal, as can be expected.

Make a reservation and go. The place is likely to be crowded.

Arun Unlimited

One afternoon I was out to lunch with colleagues, at Dhaba Express. The food took forever to arrive. So I sms-ed my friend. And found that he was hogging away on something called Swiss Chocoslab at Arun Unlimited. I am crazy about chocolate (It is an urge you know, not a result of gluttony – never ask questions when women have sudden cravings for chocolate.) I couldn’t let him do this! I also had to check out the place!

Two days later I met him there for post lunch indulgence. I spent 3 minutes staring at the menu board which offered Sundae suggestions – for single, double and triple scoops... I read it, and reread it, & reread it (the names were interesting. What did you think?).

Then my gaze moved down to the glass topped counter, to the different types of ice creams. I think 15 or 18 were there. Coffee, chocolate, kesar, black currant blabla…The yummy toppings and sauces were also displayed for us to drool at.

I ordered coffee ice cream with a chocolate fudge topping and chocolate chips. And reached out for it once it was placed on the counter… My friend said: “Wait. He has to bill it.”

So we paid and sat down to enjoy our ice creams. The ice cream had a perfect fudge shell. Fun to break it!

But the choco chips had hardened into 2 tiny logs. I got good wrist exercise, and got really irritated trying to break them with the flimsy plastic spoon. Somehow I managed to
eat it. And it was simply delicious.

And of course, I’ll surely visit the place again soon.


Watch out for Great Dessert Destinations 3!

My Cousin Vinny - discover humour!

Starring

Joe Pesci – Academy Award Winner – as plump likable leather jacketed lawyer Vinny who spent 6 years in law school, on his first case
Marisa Tomei – as his gorgeous equally likable miniskirted girlfriend, whose father runs a mechanic garage. Very nice role. She even won an Oscar for it. Men will love her. Look up Marisa Tomei on Wiki and Google, dear male readers.
Italian lad – as main accused in a murder case
American lad – as his friend with priceless expressions on his face
Judge – to whom Vinny lies that he has 16 years of experience, on top of which he claims to be a famous New York lawyer, whom his girlfriend later says died recently.

Channel – Star Movies. Look out for the rerun.



The Review…

We’re so used to Vivek, Vadivelu and Santhanam and programmes like Kalakkapovadhu Yaaru that we think a funny programme is something that makes us laugh aloud every few minutes.

I realised I am very well such a person when I watched “My Cousin Vinny” which was rated by Readers Digest a few years back as one of the 25 funniest movies ever. I remembered that Readers Digest article and that was the very reason I wanted to watch the movie.

And I tried hard to laugh, but I couldn’t. I just smiled. Why?

It is like how real humour is. And how it should be. Natural. The movie is built around classic funny situations. They are humourous to the core. But you won’t laugh, laugh and laugh like a noisy kookaburra.

The plot revolves around 2 boys who are put in jail and accused of killing a cashier in a supermarket. One of them pockets a can of tuna in the supermarket and at first they’re under the impression that they are arrested for that. Leading to them admitting to “the crime” before they actually know what it is, and by the time they realise it, they can’t get out of the hole and hilarious situation they dug for themselves.

And in steps one of the boys’ cousins, Vinny as their lawyer.

He got into a law school thanks to the influence of a judge known to him, and flunked his way through 6 years of law school. Finally he graduated and gained 6 long weeks of experience in the field. This is his first case.

But hiring a big, expensive lawyer is out of the question. And Vinny’s family. How can the boys say no then? Besides he has considerable experience – his family is known for a tendency to argue like crazy.

Vinny has a girlfriend, who seems to be all beauty and no brains… and she keeps behaving like a tourist, taking snaps of everything in sight, even dog poop.

The court sessions begin. The opposition lawyer brings up 3 witnesses to the incident who seem to eliminate all chances for the boys.

Vinny bumbles in the first few court sessions. That is after he irritates the judge by coming dressed like a wannabe gangster… in a black shirt, trousers and leather jacket.
Two times he is asked to wear a suit. And the day after he finally wears a decent one, he dumps a bag in sticky mud unknowingly (after falling twice on it himself) and asks his girlfriend what is in the bag. The girl says, without seeing that they’re stuck in mud: “Oh, that bag has your suit. I had it cleaned for you.” The suit rental store is closed because its employees have the flu. Vinny ends up wearing a magician’s tux hired from a costume store.

I forgot this… Vinny even goes to jail twice. For being found guilty of contempt of court. His girlfriend bails him out and takes his photo when he is walking out of the jail gate. Truly a special moment.

Despite all these situations, despite ignoring the book on state laws given by the judge (a bit of which his girl reads and helps him) and sleeping in court, Vinny proves that he is a winning lawyer. Because he visits the witnesses’ houses, talks in a friendly way and took some photos on the sly. And befriends the opposition lawyer, even going on a hunting trip with him.

In the end, Vinny upholds his family name with his clever arguments. Vinny’s girlfriend proves to be a big saviour. Her dog poop picture is very helpful. And also, you get to know very interesting information about cars (the girl’s dad runs a mechanic garage), thanks to her dialogues.

Dialogue between Vinny and girlfriend when she is forced to come to the witness stand as she knows a lot about cars… (taken from http://www.law.indiana.edu/instruction/tanford/web/movies/MyCousinVinny.htm)

Vinny: Miss Vito, you're supposed to be some kind of expert in automobiles, is that correct? Is that correct?

[No answer]

Vinny: Will you please answer the Counselor's question?

Girlfriend: No, I hate him.

Vinny: May I have permission to treat Miss Vito as a hostile witness?

Girlfriend: You think I'm hostile now, wait till you see me tonight.

Judge: Do you two know each other?

Vinny: Yeah, she's my fiancée.

Judge: Well, that would certainly explain the hostility.


I skipped a lot of parts. Some of which are vital links. I left out a lot of funny stuff… but the thought that you probably won’t watch it if I tell you everything hit me just as I was coming to the last few paras. The paras may seem patchy. But how can I, as an aspiring movie reviewer, reveal the rest? Watch the movie!