I’m not perfect. And neither are you.

I’m a very direct person, at least to the people I become close to. I cannot hide my affection for them. Neither can I hide my anger when I am pissed off. I express my feelings, not with a shout, but in firm words and a level voice. But I feel very sad when such circumstances occur, because I get so attached to people that I don’t expect them to disappoint me.

I have noticed that some people develop a “holier than thou” attitude. When someone shows them love and compliments them, it makes them feel even better about themselves – but it shows up in a negative way. They take you for granted, and hurt you without knowing it. And they don’t identify their mistakes, or apologize, because they think they are right. It’s your fault that you made them imagine that they are perfect people. Then they try to stomp over you.

Accept it, nobody’s perfect. And when you’re nice to people on the outside, but complain about them to others, develop self pity, feeling you’re a soul who is fated to put up with them and you’re kindhearted enough to do that for a lifetime, that does not make you a wonderful person.

It is always better to unload most of your emotions in person, even if it’s in installments, rather than smile at someone and go bitch about them behind their backs. Neither are you happy, nor will they be happy when they find out the truth – believe me, there is divine justice for every purposeful mistake. But no, I am not bothered about when that will happen to you – I’ll carry on with my life. People will eventually keep away from you when they realize that you are doing that.

I’m not asking everyone to be like me – expressing my feelings openly. But, at least try not to develop deep negative thoughts, for you’ll end up shedding them in the worst ways.  Find ways to cleanse your mind. You will feel better, and so will others. 

We’re a blessed lot

The other day, I overheard a conversation between an acquaintance, M and another person. I knew that M did not have a father, but I didn’t know what had happened. Well, during this conversation, I shouldn’t have pretended to be preoccupied with my work, just showing a bit of concern on my face now and then. Call me whatever, I try not to get too emotionally involved in things – after many experiences all these years, I realized it just makes me sadder – for instance, if I miss someone who’s passed away, well I can’t think again and again – “Oh, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her…” because it’ll bring along other thoughts about times when I’ve been angry with her and how I shouldn’t have been like that. While, of course, I miss that person, I try to wake all the happy memories in my mind. It is the good things that have to be remembered the most.

Well, I drifted away. Let me come back to M’s story. It’ll sound straight out of a movie, but it happens to many families we don’t know about, because we are accustomed to all of life’s comforts, living in a happy bubble.

M lost his father when he was all of 10 years old, due to paralytic stroke. His father lived for barely 2 months after that stroke. He underwent a lot of suffering.

M’s family comprises of his mother, his younger sister and brother (I think he has a younger brother) and an elder one who has a nervous disorder – one of the main nerves in his body doesn’t function properly – he cannot utilize one hand and one leg properly.

That day was M’s birthday. He was saying that they hadn’t celebrated birthdays from when his father passed away – till the last two years. On this birthday his family had surprised him with a cake.

M comes across as a happy-go-lucky fellow. You’d never imagine that he’s the breadwinner of his family, unless you knew things. Probably he’s too young to become more serious about things; yes, one needs to get serious – and maybe he is; he has to take care of a lot of things. But on the exterior he still seems to take each day as it comes, cracking jokes, making chit chat… I hope he makes it his conscious attitude, with a dose of seriousness where it is needed.

There’s another point to this article – the one I started it with. There are many of us with all the comforts life has to offer. We end up taking many of those for granted. Worse, they still don’t make us happy. We get lazy and selfish – not valuing things for what they are. We get angry, short-tempered and bitchy, arguing for many things. Let us take a leaf from the book of those who are worse off. Let us learn to endure and tide over whatever small difficulties we have and appreciate life’s comforts. We’re blessed, and it’s high time we acknowledged that.

I introduce you to someone Advertising missed

My Maternal Grandmother has come to stay with us for a few days. A short description of her – 85 years old, fragile, lover of chocolates and ice creams (though these are rare treats), Jiddu Krishnamurthy-esque facial features (as my Dad said), stylish bob, the length of which matches my semi ‘Sai Baba bob’ curly hair (my Granny’s hair was cut when she was unwell, actually), and an extremely wacky imagination.

Her thought process is made up of children who stand at the front door and make fun of her, a group of arataiadchifying vetti guys in the hall, people looking at her and talking to her from the TV (she has asked me to switch off the TV many times because of this), a little child who walks across the hall to her, an old man – Viswanathiyer - with four sons, looking for a varan for one of his sons, and a guy who I mouth-feed (I was actually painting a pot). In between these people, my family, and accurate perceptions of her surroundings flit in and out; sometimes, she reacts instantly to my expressions and understands what exactly is on my mind.

Advertising would be an ideal field for my Granny (wink). On a serious note, she manages to create humorous moments that we enjoy as a family. Thanks for your presence at our home, Grandma. Love you lots :-).