My public secret diary
5.10.2010
Today’s my friend’s star birthday. We planned to meet up at Sandy’s Chocolate Laboratory in RA Puram in the evening. But I left office a little early, and headed to Citi Centre – to buy that orange lipstick (Bourjois Paris) that I so desperately wanted. I got one in a “chingcha” orange colour (will apply only a thin coat to
tone it down :D). I love the colour because it is a “daring” one with a touch of seeming innocence. So, having found that lipstick, I set off to Sandy’s in a buoyant mood.
We had Tiny Chocolate Cake (proportion is inverse – the slices are huge) and Tiramisu (disappointing!!). The cake comes with a layer of sinful chocolate syrup on top (which I’ve imagined swirling around in my mouth, each time I’ve been vetti and hungry). I’ve really become addicted to this cake lately. We conversed less and ate more. But it was a reflection of the bonds of friendship cemented by food and chocolate :D.
Later, I went to my library, which was nearby. I ran into one of my favourite aunties there. It is really nice when these sort of run-ins happen. We chatted for a few minutes and she told the librarian that I was her husband’s friend’s daughter. I hoped that she was a regular customer and seeing that I was one of her favourite girls, he’d not charge me a fine when I returned books late in the future :P (My mind works like that! A wacky, wavering thing with a will of its own.). But still, he told me that one of the books must be returned in a week to 10 days because it was a new one. :(
Then I left for home and reached it in an amazing 25 minutes! My Mom had yummy paruppu subzi waiting for me. Ate a very satisfactory meal of paruppu rice with coconut podi and kurkure (but just one saadham – a good habit; am patting myself on the back).
Then I started reading the book (It’s about a South Indian girl and her Mom’s maaplai quest :D). It was very interesting and promised to make me read it one or two hours every night and return it on time (great way to end the day!).
So there’s the first entry of my “Public Secret Diary”. I hope to be a good girl and put a diary entry on my blog every day.
A full moon night on the beach :-)
There was a big yellow moon over the sea, putting a smile in my heart and calming my mind. The waves roared louder and rose higher. They glinted a beautiful silver, moonlight dispersed across them. But what was even more beautiful than their glitter was the spot on the ocean, right beneath the moon – a shimmering island of silver in the great sea.
I had gone to the beach that evening with a friend. We sat quite close to the water, looking out at the waves lapping up the slope they carved in the sand. Our breezy chit chat was made breezier by the surroundings.
We shared a coneful of the quintessential beach snack – son papdi. It was on my mind throughout the evening and when my friend suggested that we have it, I couldn’t resist.
My Mom called me in the middle and asked me to get home soon. I said I’d leave in 10 minutes, but no I didn’t. It took me more than half-an-hour. More time had to be spent leisurely, there were more things to talk about, a stretch of sand to be ambled across slowly, the mind enraptured by the surroundings, not falling in step with the equally reluctant but resistant feet.
Time flies when spent at the beach; so every visit requires hours and hours to be devoted, to experience it completely. No regular leisure activity can work as much magic on your mood as the beach can.
I had gone to the beach that evening with a friend. We sat quite close to the water, looking out at the waves lapping up the slope they carved in the sand. Our breezy chit chat was made breezier by the surroundings.
We shared a coneful of the quintessential beach snack – son papdi. It was on my mind throughout the evening and when my friend suggested that we have it, I couldn’t resist.
My Mom called me in the middle and asked me to get home soon. I said I’d leave in 10 minutes, but no I didn’t. It took me more than half-an-hour. More time had to be spent leisurely, there were more things to talk about, a stretch of sand to be ambled across slowly, the mind enraptured by the surroundings, not falling in step with the equally reluctant but resistant feet.
Time flies when spent at the beach; so every visit requires hours and hours to be devoted, to experience it completely. No regular leisure activity can work as much magic on your mood as the beach can.
Pilaachapi of the day
A prolonged good mood is like a hula hoop. When it goes down, you need to do some quick wiggling and jiggling of your attitude & routines to bring it back fast.
Inception – wake up to a world of dreams
Inception is a mind bender. At the same time, when followed intently from beginning to end, the expedition of dreams that the movie is, kindles the mind and encourages it to explore the topic. Which is what it has set off in my case.
The movie is based on the concept of complex dreams with deep interpretations, blended with stunning set pieces, visuals, locales and racy action. A great package that ensures your focus doesn’t stray – it is an experience that draws you in.
A team headed by Leo Di Caprio sets out to plant an idea in the subject’s (son of a wealthy millionaire) mind. They find that he’s going on a 10 hour flight. They get onto that flight (the man who hires him buys that flight – but now let me not drift into the main story – I want to talk about all the dreaming) and sedate him by slipping a sedative into his drinking water. Now I will not talk about the idea – I want to focus on the process.
The team connects the subject and themselves to a device, go into sleep and have a shared dream. The dream is complex – it has three whole layers – and while planting their idea, they have to convince the subject that it has not come from an outside source, but has been generated by himself – and in the third stage he is convinced of that and the idea is finally planted.
There is a dream architect (played by Ellen Page – Juno fame) who constructs the subject’s dreams while sharing the dream. Thanks to this fascinating fictitious (is it or is it not? I sooo want to believe it!) concept, the director gets the chance to include some brilliant set pieces and have them crumble in mind blowing sequences symbolizing the end of a shared dream.
There are some rules to inception of an idea – one must not build dreams or dream architecture on past memories – but Di Caprio’s past memories keep slipping in – his wife keeps appearing in his dreams and messing up things by shooting characters (the reasons I shall not elaborate on – I want to get to the ideas I derived). Also if one dies during a dream he/she may move into limbo – a permanent dream state.
During the second level of the dream, the millionaire’s son is shot by the wife and is very close to death. The team tries to save the mission by reviving him through defibrillation –risking going further into his dream and making things more complex - but succeeds. He proceeds to the next level. And all ends well.
The director, Christopher Nolan has beautifully expressed the concept of a dream within a dream and the end of each dream, layer by layer and how the conditions of the surroundings in the first dream affect the second dream – fascinating ideas and mind blowing interpretations.
Inception inspired me to read about shared dreaming and other concepts. Shared dreaming exists and there are a lot to learn about dreams. There is a treatment called hypnotherapy – which cures people of depression and other such problems by putting them into a hypnotic state, helping them discover their past life – and apparently the events in the past life are linked to those in the present.
Apparently you can have control over your dreams – if you are aware that you are dreaming – I think it happened to me too. I have slept, dreamt, been woken up for a few seconds, then gone back to the dream and this time, what I thought for a second was what continued in that dream – at least that was the way it began – and I want it to happen again.
I want to give the profession of dream architecture a shot (wink). I want to try and be the architect of my mind – in the sense that I want to organise my mind, create space to stow away memories and retrieve them – am I getting too carried away? I don’t know. I am also being inspired by the famous character Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs), who, according to Thomas Harris’ book ‘Hannibal Rising’ has a ‘memory palace’ which he was taught to create, by his tutor – where he stores away memories in innumerable chambers and retrieves them when he wants. Well, is it possible for me to create something like that? Or a percentage of something as complex as that? I sure want to explore.
Inception is a near-masterpiece that sets off deep thoughts, the thirst to explore them. We’re discovering the power of dreams more and more & this is a fantastic theme that has emerged at the right time. Inception has been the start to my deeper journey into dreams and I hope to discover a lot more. I also hope to catch every movie as brilliant as Inception in its genre.
The movie is based on the concept of complex dreams with deep interpretations, blended with stunning set pieces, visuals, locales and racy action. A great package that ensures your focus doesn’t stray – it is an experience that draws you in.
A team headed by Leo Di Caprio sets out to plant an idea in the subject’s (son of a wealthy millionaire) mind. They find that he’s going on a 10 hour flight. They get onto that flight (the man who hires him buys that flight – but now let me not drift into the main story – I want to talk about all the dreaming) and sedate him by slipping a sedative into his drinking water. Now I will not talk about the idea – I want to focus on the process.
The team connects the subject and themselves to a device, go into sleep and have a shared dream. The dream is complex – it has three whole layers – and while planting their idea, they have to convince the subject that it has not come from an outside source, but has been generated by himself – and in the third stage he is convinced of that and the idea is finally planted.
There is a dream architect (played by Ellen Page – Juno fame) who constructs the subject’s dreams while sharing the dream. Thanks to this fascinating fictitious (is it or is it not? I sooo want to believe it!) concept, the director gets the chance to include some brilliant set pieces and have them crumble in mind blowing sequences symbolizing the end of a shared dream.
There are some rules to inception of an idea – one must not build dreams or dream architecture on past memories – but Di Caprio’s past memories keep slipping in – his wife keeps appearing in his dreams and messing up things by shooting characters (the reasons I shall not elaborate on – I want to get to the ideas I derived). Also if one dies during a dream he/she may move into limbo – a permanent dream state.
During the second level of the dream, the millionaire’s son is shot by the wife and is very close to death. The team tries to save the mission by reviving him through defibrillation –risking going further into his dream and making things more complex - but succeeds. He proceeds to the next level. And all ends well.
The director, Christopher Nolan has beautifully expressed the concept of a dream within a dream and the end of each dream, layer by layer and how the conditions of the surroundings in the first dream affect the second dream – fascinating ideas and mind blowing interpretations.
Inception inspired me to read about shared dreaming and other concepts. Shared dreaming exists and there are a lot to learn about dreams. There is a treatment called hypnotherapy – which cures people of depression and other such problems by putting them into a hypnotic state, helping them discover their past life – and apparently the events in the past life are linked to those in the present.
Apparently you can have control over your dreams – if you are aware that you are dreaming – I think it happened to me too. I have slept, dreamt, been woken up for a few seconds, then gone back to the dream and this time, what I thought for a second was what continued in that dream – at least that was the way it began – and I want it to happen again.
I want to give the profession of dream architecture a shot (wink). I want to try and be the architect of my mind – in the sense that I want to organise my mind, create space to stow away memories and retrieve them – am I getting too carried away? I don’t know. I am also being inspired by the famous character Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs), who, according to Thomas Harris’ book ‘Hannibal Rising’ has a ‘memory palace’ which he was taught to create, by his tutor – where he stores away memories in innumerable chambers and retrieves them when he wants. Well, is it possible for me to create something like that? Or a percentage of something as complex as that? I sure want to explore.
Inception is a near-masterpiece that sets off deep thoughts, the thirst to explore them. We’re discovering the power of dreams more and more & this is a fantastic theme that has emerged at the right time. Inception has been the start to my deeper journey into dreams and I hope to discover a lot more. I also hope to catch every movie as brilliant as Inception in its genre.
Azhagu Amy fell in love with Azhukku Arya… and Titanic happened
Madrasapattinam is a very nice movie, but I didn’t think I would be able to write a review, till I got those adjectives for Arya and Amy Jackson – yeah, Arya rolls around in mud, wrestling and looks real dirty (but cute, underneath that dirt). I felt those adjectives deserved a review beneath them (self-praise).
It is a love story in the background of the independence movement. It has also strongly drawn from Titanic – rather, bits have been copied (shamelessly – though I don’t like to use that harsh word on a director who has delivered an immensely watchable movie). And the rain song seems to be the director's (again shamelessly copied) tribute to Lagaan.
The director has made the love story predominant; resisting the urge to go on too much about the freedom struggle (it has been given more importance only where it really blends with the love story).
Even though Arya gets harsh treatment at the hands of Amy’s fiancé in the beginning, the seriousness isn’t dragged on. After he’s released, he drinks “kallu” with his buddies to forget his woes, then he learns that Amy managed to save him from worse punishment; he and his friends then decide to go thank her, not worrying about whether they’ll get caught or beaten up, they don’t think twice about entering the governor’s (Amy’s father’s) house, simply trying to stay unnoticed by wearing British clothes or dancing with ladies (there’s a tear-inducing comic scene in which Arya edges out an Englishman and dances with his girl, who has been resting her head, eyes closed, on the man’s chest and doesn’t realize it’s someone else. And a super-hilarious scene before that, in which they learn the words “thank you” and keep mugging it. On the way, their cycles hit a bump on the road, and for a second their mugging is interrupted – they forget the words; then they start mugging “Ning you. Ning you.” Even small touches such as the laundry guy who’s always dressed in British clothes, and forever dozing, tickle you.) The first half has great humorous touches. But some scenes later on are unintentionally funny, like the one in which Arya and Amy are hiding in the clock tower and Amy is inspired to sing a romantic verse.
VMC Haneefa, as Amy’s translator, has been given adequate scope for performance and has turned out to be a real treat for the audience. He is especially funny in the way he eagerly poses for photos and is teased by Amy, who moves the camera this way and that, because he too, keeps turning in the direction of the camera. It’s unfortunate that the talented artiste has passed away, and this is his last film.
Moving on to the other aspects of the movie – Arya and Amy make an adorable pair. Arya, as we know, is one hot creature with mesmerizing eyes and a hot bod – even though he gets all dirty in the mud in this movie, you just want to clean him up and continue sighing (I’ll forever remember the character “Kutty” he played in a Arindhum Ariyaamalum – the first impact he made on me still lasts). And he is simply adorable when he attempts to speak English. Amy Jackson is likable and slips into the role with ease. But the fact that she’s a foreigner limits her opportunities in K-town.
There is some truly edge-of-the-seat action… Arya taking on Amy’s fiancé in a gusthi fight over the dhobis’ land that the Englishman threatens to take away – the fight really had me sitting upright, at the edge of my seat, heart in my mouth. And another fight scene in the Central station clock tower was good too, with the fiancé crashing out of the clock face and flying down. Truly well executed fights – dishum dishum with verve – unlike the superhuman Vijay fights with flying people and him sending electric pulses up villains’ arms (in films like Ghilli).
The ending is a bit predictable (there are other cinematic touches as well - but pardonable); and it is pretty disappointing to discover that Arya has passed away (due to old age) as you imagined and is not there when Amy visits Duraiamma Trust (after building hope in me, who likes to expect the unexpected, even if takes away some pathos, that’ll fit better, according to K-town rules); but later it is revealed, predictably, that he is dead, and yeah, as expected, Amy dies at his grave – yawn.
To sum it up - the director has dished out a clever combination of a love story, humour, a bit of great action; giving higher emphasis to the freedom struggle only where it fits in, and otherwise restricting it in the background. Clearly he conceptualized Madrasapattinam as a love story and has done justice. It is one of the better Tamil films this year, and worth the price of your ticket.
It is a love story in the background of the independence movement. It has also strongly drawn from Titanic – rather, bits have been copied (shamelessly – though I don’t like to use that harsh word on a director who has delivered an immensely watchable movie). And the rain song seems to be the director's (again shamelessly copied) tribute to Lagaan.
The director has made the love story predominant; resisting the urge to go on too much about the freedom struggle (it has been given more importance only where it really blends with the love story).
Even though Arya gets harsh treatment at the hands of Amy’s fiancé in the beginning, the seriousness isn’t dragged on. After he’s released, he drinks “kallu” with his buddies to forget his woes, then he learns that Amy managed to save him from worse punishment; he and his friends then decide to go thank her, not worrying about whether they’ll get caught or beaten up, they don’t think twice about entering the governor’s (Amy’s father’s) house, simply trying to stay unnoticed by wearing British clothes or dancing with ladies (there’s a tear-inducing comic scene in which Arya edges out an Englishman and dances with his girl, who has been resting her head, eyes closed, on the man’s chest and doesn’t realize it’s someone else. And a super-hilarious scene before that, in which they learn the words “thank you” and keep mugging it. On the way, their cycles hit a bump on the road, and for a second their mugging is interrupted – they forget the words; then they start mugging “Ning you. Ning you.” Even small touches such as the laundry guy who’s always dressed in British clothes, and forever dozing, tickle you.) The first half has great humorous touches. But some scenes later on are unintentionally funny, like the one in which Arya and Amy are hiding in the clock tower and Amy is inspired to sing a romantic verse.
VMC Haneefa, as Amy’s translator, has been given adequate scope for performance and has turned out to be a real treat for the audience. He is especially funny in the way he eagerly poses for photos and is teased by Amy, who moves the camera this way and that, because he too, keeps turning in the direction of the camera. It’s unfortunate that the talented artiste has passed away, and this is his last film.
Moving on to the other aspects of the movie – Arya and Amy make an adorable pair. Arya, as we know, is one hot creature with mesmerizing eyes and a hot bod – even though he gets all dirty in the mud in this movie, you just want to clean him up and continue sighing (I’ll forever remember the character “Kutty” he played in a Arindhum Ariyaamalum – the first impact he made on me still lasts). And he is simply adorable when he attempts to speak English. Amy Jackson is likable and slips into the role with ease. But the fact that she’s a foreigner limits her opportunities in K-town.
There is some truly edge-of-the-seat action… Arya taking on Amy’s fiancé in a gusthi fight over the dhobis’ land that the Englishman threatens to take away – the fight really had me sitting upright, at the edge of my seat, heart in my mouth. And another fight scene in the Central station clock tower was good too, with the fiancé crashing out of the clock face and flying down. Truly well executed fights – dishum dishum with verve – unlike the superhuman Vijay fights with flying people and him sending electric pulses up villains’ arms (in films like Ghilli).
The ending is a bit predictable (there are other cinematic touches as well - but pardonable); and it is pretty disappointing to discover that Arya has passed away (due to old age) as you imagined and is not there when Amy visits Duraiamma Trust (after building hope in me, who likes to expect the unexpected, even if takes away some pathos, that’ll fit better, according to K-town rules); but later it is revealed, predictably, that he is dead, and yeah, as expected, Amy dies at his grave – yawn.
To sum it up - the director has dished out a clever combination of a love story, humour, a bit of great action; giving higher emphasis to the freedom struggle only where it fits in, and otherwise restricting it in the background. Clearly he conceptualized Madrasapattinam as a love story and has done justice. It is one of the better Tamil films this year, and worth the price of your ticket.
We’re a blessed lot
The other day, I overheard a conversation between an acquaintance, M and another person. I knew that M did not have a father, but I didn’t know what had happened. Well, during this conversation, I shouldn’t have pretended to be preoccupied with my work, just showing a bit of concern on my face now and then. Call me whatever, I try not to get too emotionally involved in things – after many experiences all these years, I realized it just makes me sadder – for instance, if I miss someone who’s passed away, well I can’t think again and again – “Oh, I miss her, I miss her, I miss her…” because it’ll bring along other thoughts about times when I’ve been angry with her and how I shouldn’t have been like that. While, of course, I miss that person, I try to wake all the happy memories in my mind. It is the good things that have to be remembered the most.
Well, I drifted away. Let me come back to M’s story. It’ll sound straight out of a movie, but it happens to many families we don’t know about, because we are accustomed to all of life’s comforts, living in a happy bubble.
M lost his father when he was all of 10 years old, due to paralytic stroke. His father lived for barely 2 months after that stroke. He underwent a lot of suffering.
M’s family comprises of his mother, his younger sister and brother (I think he has a younger brother) and an elder one who has a nervous disorder – one of the main nerves in his body doesn’t function properly – he cannot utilize one hand and one leg properly.
That day was M’s birthday. He was saying that they hadn’t celebrated birthdays from when his father passed away – till the last two years. On this birthday his family had surprised him with a cake.
M comes across as a happy-go-lucky fellow. You’d never imagine that he’s the breadwinner of his family, unless you knew things. Probably he’s too young to become more serious about things; yes, one needs to get serious – and maybe he is; he has to take care of a lot of things. But on the exterior he still seems to take each day as it comes, cracking jokes, making chit chat… I hope he makes it his conscious attitude, with a dose of seriousness where it is needed.
There’s another point to this article – the one I started it with. There are many of us with all the comforts life has to offer. We end up taking many of those for granted. Worse, they still don’t make us happy. We get lazy and selfish – not valuing things for what they are. We get angry, short-tempered and bitchy, arguing for many things. Let us take a leaf from the book of those who are worse off. Let us learn to endure and tide over whatever small difficulties we have and appreciate life’s comforts. We’re blessed, and it’s high time we acknowledged that.
Well, I drifted away. Let me come back to M’s story. It’ll sound straight out of a movie, but it happens to many families we don’t know about, because we are accustomed to all of life’s comforts, living in a happy bubble.
M lost his father when he was all of 10 years old, due to paralytic stroke. His father lived for barely 2 months after that stroke. He underwent a lot of suffering.
M’s family comprises of his mother, his younger sister and brother (I think he has a younger brother) and an elder one who has a nervous disorder – one of the main nerves in his body doesn’t function properly – he cannot utilize one hand and one leg properly.
That day was M’s birthday. He was saying that they hadn’t celebrated birthdays from when his father passed away – till the last two years. On this birthday his family had surprised him with a cake.
M comes across as a happy-go-lucky fellow. You’d never imagine that he’s the breadwinner of his family, unless you knew things. Probably he’s too young to become more serious about things; yes, one needs to get serious – and maybe he is; he has to take care of a lot of things. But on the exterior he still seems to take each day as it comes, cracking jokes, making chit chat… I hope he makes it his conscious attitude, with a dose of seriousness where it is needed.
There’s another point to this article – the one I started it with. There are many of us with all the comforts life has to offer. We end up taking many of those for granted. Worse, they still don’t make us happy. We get lazy and selfish – not valuing things for what they are. We get angry, short-tempered and bitchy, arguing for many things. Let us take a leaf from the book of those who are worse off. Let us learn to endure and tide over whatever small difficulties we have and appreciate life’s comforts. We’re blessed, and it’s high time we acknowledged that.
Jai Anjaneya :-)
Anjaneya (I fondly refer to him as Anju) has become my favorite God. Why is he my favorite? Because I believe I share “friendship” with him as a result of bhakti not inculcated by the fear of God, or the habit of going to the temple every week.
My friendship with Anju began when I visited a josiyar near Anju’s temple in Mandaveli. I visited the temple for the first time, after the visit.
A couple of months later, I had a sudden urge to visit the temple. I went there from office and bought a Tulsi mala for Anjaneya.
Since then, it’s become my favourite temple. I have not been able to visit regularly; but it is a place where I have truly been able to connect to God. I pray for the people I love, for good things to happen to them and me, why, I even prayed fervently for CSK to win the 2010 semifinal and final (seriously). And I try to grab as much of God’s attention as I can – some josiyar apparently said that it was good for me to receive “Anjaneyar parvai” so I try to get his blessings by staying in his full view for at least a few seconds without anyone blocking mine (while I block theirs). And the priests there remember me, smile when I hand them a Tulsi mala (I offer a mala during each visit). I know that their blessings are with me too.
There’s always someone or something you follow – a force that influences you, calms you… whether it is God, a particular shrine or solely your self-belief. Whatever they may be, they build faith, motivate you, infuse positivity, happiness and help you improve your life.
My friendship with Anju began when I visited a josiyar near Anju’s temple in Mandaveli. I visited the temple for the first time, after the visit.
A couple of months later, I had a sudden urge to visit the temple. I went there from office and bought a Tulsi mala for Anjaneya.
Since then, it’s become my favourite temple. I have not been able to visit regularly; but it is a place where I have truly been able to connect to God. I pray for the people I love, for good things to happen to them and me, why, I even prayed fervently for CSK to win the 2010 semifinal and final (seriously). And I try to grab as much of God’s attention as I can – some josiyar apparently said that it was good for me to receive “Anjaneyar parvai” so I try to get his blessings by staying in his full view for at least a few seconds without anyone blocking mine (while I block theirs). And the priests there remember me, smile when I hand them a Tulsi mala (I offer a mala during each visit). I know that their blessings are with me too.
There’s always someone or something you follow – a force that influences you, calms you… whether it is God, a particular shrine or solely your self-belief. Whatever they may be, they build faith, motivate you, infuse positivity, happiness and help you improve your life.
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